Brazil and the double edge sword that is the World Cup

I love this logo.

The Expat Blog Police just sent me a final notice. They are going to take away my membership card if I don’t post about the World Cup coming to Brazil.

Everyone has done it. Some bloggers have posted wicked (good and bad) critiques of FIFA and Brazilian politicians who are milking taxpayers for money they don’t have to line their pockets in the name of futebol. Other bloggers have tried to stay positive and posted videos and news bits about players, teams and home town pride in the lead up to the contest. One big theme has been the massive public response in Brazil against the wasteful spending on soon-to-be white elephant mega stadiums (some built in cities that don’t even have a home futebol team!) at the expense of improvements in healthcare, education, urban development and other proper priorities.

My commitment to myself here at Qualidade de Vida has been to keep it positive. Living abroad, living in Brazil, struggling to learn a new language and to adapt to new cultural norms – it’s not an easy road. While there are a ton of really fun and cool things that come your way, there are also some pretty challenging realities that wear on you. The internet machine is full of very vocal people griping about how crappy their life has become since they moved to Brazil and had to turn in their minivan and their dream of a GE Profile PFE29PSDSS refrigerator that automatically fills your water glass without spilling. Truth be told, there are some realities in Brazil worth griping about. But that makes for a lousy blog post, in my opinion.

If you know me you know that I am not a futebol fan. I don’t know the rules of soccer. I have never watched a basket ball game through in its entirety. The gratuitous violence in so many hockey games turns me off. The cultural grip American football has over the social construction of masculinity in the United States makes me sad. Sports have never been my thing. But hey, I get it that others go bonkers over this stuff. It’s all good. Go for it. But please don’t be stupid.

It seemed to me that the World Cup coming to Brazil was potentially a really good thing. Brazilians live and breathe futebol in such an all-consuming way that is difficult (perhaps impossible) to imagine if you don’t live here. This was an opportunity to put that passion on a world stage and really shine. It was an opportunity for Brazilians, the vast majority of whom have relatively little to nothing in terms of daily comforts, to focus on national pride and escape the hardships of their normal waking hours. Somewhere in here was an opportunity to leverage preparation spending to benefit locals in the long run.

But the World Cup is actually a big business venture. Oh yeah, they have international sports heroes play some games and all, but at the end of the day the event – the actual nuts and bolts of the event – is a venture capitalist’s wet dream. And the politicians that get to play with other people’s money? Well they are like pigs in slop. The television networks will make their money. Coca-cola, Budweiser and Visa will reinforce their brand to their followers. And large developers will make a killing on slip shod building projects that shine in the short term and then sit to decay when the cameras shut off.

Are we surprised? Is this unique to Brazil? Sadly no. FIFA has been leaving messes like this in their wake for a generation. The Olympic Committee comes to mind as another culprit of capitalizing on the public’s need to escape our daily drudgery if only for a short while. The Super Bowl folks in the States play this game, selling struggling communities the “privilege” to wave tax policies and local environmental ordinances to build unnecessary stadiums with money they don’t have on the promise of future glory which never comes… blah, blah, blah.

For me the good news is that this kind of corporate greed and political malfeasance is so in your face that the public gets awakened from their sleep and digs in for a chance to speak their mind. The communities displaced by developers making papier mâché facilities stand up and demand to be heard. Tax payers who may typically let a little corruption with public funds go unanswered suddenly say “enough.” A population is reminded who is supposed to be in charge and asserts itself to reestablish that order. Sometimes there is progress. Often times not. But at least people come alive for a short while and new activists are born.

Brazilians all across the country have been speaking up to say “enough.” There is a long political tradition here, like in so many developing countries and elsewhere, of deeply entrenched corruption.  It is endemic in the worst way. The population has largely been beaten into submission and share a feeling of hopelessness when it comes to politicians actually doing anything honest or truly good for the people – without also stealing a boat load of money in the process. But there is also a strong tradition of rebellion. Brazilians are fighters. Don’t forget it was just 30 years ago, in 1984, that widespread, organized, public pressure resulted in the brutal dictatorial government of Brazil surrendering to a popularly installed democratic administration. The taste of people power still lingers in the mouths of many present day citizens.

"Our heroes are teachers, not futebol players."

The current repulsive examples of corrupt politicians, greedy investors, entitled corporations and crony media networks has once again awakened a sleeping giant in Brazil. Students, urban residents, parents, religious leaders, artists, native peoples, labor unions… you name it. Look around – folks are pissed. Some say we are in for another round of people power that will result in real, lasting and proper changes for the better. Others just sigh and try to go back to sleep. We’ll see…

But the World Cup is coming. Billions have been spent. Sports broadcasters from around the globe are settling in for a fun ride. Fans are hoping for the best. And Brazilians still stand among the most enthusiastic fans once their team takes to the field. Politicians be damned – let’s play some futebol!

Starting a business in Brazil – some tips

First, as my 77 year old Brazilian father-in-law and previous business owner used to say (may he rest in peace) “Be careful what you wish for.”

Should I start with the positives or the negatives? Oh heck, I’ll dive into the starry eyed positives as seen by this newcomer through his rose colored glasses. Luiz and I traveled to Brazil many times in the years before we picked up and moved here. During that time I had one eye looking out for business opportunities – and thought I saw many sure things.

Like: we could open a Mexican restaurant/taqueria. Cheap ingredients, hearty food, great take out for working people and the taquerias in San Francisco ALWAYS had a line out the door. Easy peasy.

Or maybe Luiz should take his formal education and international training as a floral designer and open a flower shop with event flowers as a featured service. We went so far as to produce a beautiful website, brochures, note cards and brought a ton of specialty items to make his arrangements pop.

How about an import/export business? So many things are cheaper in the US. We could import them to Brazil. And there is a rich art and fashion pulse in Brazil that would surely appeal to US Americans.

Best of all, we could find a tiny coastal village just beginning to get noticed and open a tropical paradise bed and breakfast (pousada). We would make it a cut above and appeal to the international travel set and the expanding middle class of Brazilians taking family vacations – all the while sitting on the beach sipping chilled coconut water and telling our housekeeper and pool boy what to do next.

Then our plane landed in Brazil. We moved into our apartment and, once we got our bearings, we started to investigate the possibilities for real. (Here comes the negative part.)

Truth be told, we did not move to Brazil to start up a whole new chapter in our life growing a business and working too much. As far as 60 hour work weeks go – been there, done that. So we scratched most of our fantasies and focused on our “unfair competitive advantages” e.g. Luiz’s international floral design expertise and my being a native English speaker from the United States in a country that likes those kinds of English teachers.

It became immediately apparent to us that Brazilians are very clever, hardworking and seasoned (not to mention cut-throat) entrepreneurs. In a land with a history of minimal (honest) opportunities to earn a substantial living and one with a byzantine legal system that regulates and taxes (or charges fees for) just about everything, as outsiders we were at a decidedly woeful disadvantage in the mainstream of building a successful business. Knowing how to manage the system and flourish within a web of personal connections is baseline. These are insights and relationships generally out of reach to most newcomers.

As an outsider I could see so many ways that businesses could be made more efficient or otherwise improved, or so I thought, only to learn that government regulations, bank loan interest rates, taxes, labor laws, the availability (lack thereof) of skilled workers with an earnest work ethic, taxes, local corruption, near closed business environments in some competitive areas, and taxes were the real culprits.

To my friends looking to move to Brazil and open a business I say: welcome, good luck, and start looking for a good lawyer and a “fixer” to help you get started. I’m sure it could be a breeze for some, I just have never seen evidence of that. I prefer my rosy glasses and chilled coconut water on the beach.

So we bailed on any thoughts of a pousada or an import/export gig from scratch. Luiz has found his niché in flower design working in “permanent botanicals” showcased at the weekly arts fair in the park and designing for individual clients.

Over time our musings about opening a lunch and dinner Mexican restaurant have morphed into launching a food truck specializing in wraps of all kinds. This addresses the reluctance among locals to try “different” foods. We could produce a “Carioca Wrap” or a Mexican inspired burrito with carne seca, or maybe a Bahian inspired spicy seafood wrap. Also, the truck eliminates the need to rent space etc., we would not have to hire people, and we could move it around to where the people are (festivals, street parties, nighttime hot spots, etc.) But still there are the regulations, licenses, taxes and turf power brokers. That beach still looks pretty good to me.  

I have settled into a comfortable work schedule (including the afore mentioned beach, glasses and beverage) as an “English Polisher” for adult professionals preparing to present at an international conference or about to ship off to the States for a 6 month work gig. Doctors and lawyers are always looking to improve their English speaking skills. Students headed for graduate school in the States always want to speak better. And my sometimes favorite: bored rich housewives preparing to go on a shopping trip to New York City are sure they need specialized vocabulary assistance.

All that said, here are a few new ideas for a bright and overachieving entrepreneur looking to make a go of it here in Brazil:

-          -  Running a mobile copy service: a cart you can park in front of the Federal Police office, the Notary Public, the Consulate, etc. Visitors to these offices always need additional copies of some document or another and the offices themselves do not make their copy machines available.

-         -  A private parking and traffic enforcement operation. In the past five and a half years I have never seen a city official write a parking ticket or stop a driver for even the most egregious driving offense. Of course, you would have to convince the local government to outsource this function – but believe me, it would reap a fortune for all stakeholders.

-        -  Full service business consulting for expats looking to beat Brazilian entrepreneurs at their own game. To put your clients at ease, put a pink light bulb in your desk lamp and serve coconut water in your office cooler.

I’m sure other expats who have been here a while would have a few suggestions and/or a cautionary tale or two.

A glimpse into a corner of the Brazilian healthcare system

Brazil has so-called universal healthcare available free to all citizens. I say so-called because depending on where in the country you live, the hospital may or may not have running water now and again throughout the year. Doctors dealing with certain specialties may not be available for several days after you have been admitted.

One of the public hospitals in our city, for example, has an MRI machine that has been out of service for more than a year…

On the bright side, if you can hang in there long enough you will likely get the help you need. And in some parts of the country this medical attention is excellent in quality.

To skate over the wild card realities that befall the public system, most people who can afford to buy into a private insurance system do so. Fancy hospitals, short or nonexistent lines, specialists ready to see you in short order, etc.

Luiz and I both have private healthcare coverage. It’s not top of the line, but certainly WAY better than the strict public system.

Recently I was admitted to the hospital to drill down into a health situation we are still trying to totally understand. Let me highlight some things I’ve encountered along the way.

Regarding our insurance coverage: First, I cannot be denied a policy due to a pre-existing condition, and they charge premiums by the age of the consumer (ill or healthy). There are no co-payments, deductables or lifetime limits. If a treatment is determined by your doctor to be essential in your overall treatment plan, the insurance company cannot deny coverage (although they might make you jump through a few hoops).

I shouldn’t say there are NO co-payments. Some office visits include a co-payment (R$4). But follow up visits are not charged for. For example, if your cardiologist sends you out for a series of tests, your next visit to the cardiologist to review the results and discuss moving forward is a FREE office visit.

I was admitted into the hospital. Once in the hospital everything is free of charge (including all meds, which can be expensive when bought in a pharmacy). I had two ultra sounds, x-rays, a CT scan an MRI and an endoscopy. Every three days they did a full blood workup. I was on an anti-biotic drip four times a day, plus several other meds. All no charge.

The facility was very modern (old building, but totally refurbished on the inside).  It had all the fancy diagnostic machinery, in working order. Doctors of all stripes were on site.

I got excellent (and friendly) care.

Here in Brazil it is not possible legally for medical providers (or bill collectors) to make you liquidate your family assets (lose your home) as a result of medical expenses. Oh, and all your insurance premiums, misc. costs and pharmaceutical expenses are tax deductable.

If I had one complaint it would be the lack of wireless internet service in my room, but then… STFU Jim.

My premium is R$300 per month and will not jump up to nearly R$500 until I reach age 60, so I have a while.

Of course – keep in mind this is simply what I experience in my situation. Results may vary depending on the insurance company you have and where in the country you live.

Frozen fish at the market

One of the best - bestest - features of Niterói is the fresh fish market. Plus there are fish markets set up in street markets - twice a week in our neighborhood.

The flip side of the coin is that frozen seafood in the grocery store is NEVER vaccum shrink-wrapped. It is all cristalized - freezer burned and tastless.

C'mon Brazil - you have fabulous seafood - why is it not packaged appropriatley?

Traveling in Peru

One of the most pleasurable bits of traveling in Brazil is the lavish breakfast you get served at pousadas (bed and breakfasts). No matter where you stay, breakfast is overflowing with bread, cheese, ham, baked sweets, multiple fruits, multiple juices, fresh coffee and tea. And often granola and yogurt. All you could want.

Our brief trip, though a narrow bit, through Peru proved not so satisfying.

I’m not one to complain. We LOVED our trip in Peru! Really. But the accommodations left something to be desired.

First, by way of definition, it should be said that by law in Peru you cannot call yourself a “hotel” unless you have a private bath for every room. So we stayed in “hostals” (but we always had a private bath). In regular parlance a hostal is a casual hotel with a shared kitchen, often dormitory sleeping quarters and generally a shared bath. Backpacker ground zero. Not so in Peru. The variance can be striking.

We arrived at our hostal in Lima to see an exceptionally appointed old, large house since converted to a hostal (two stars). It was beautiful. Lots of art and culturally significant elements. Wonderful.  Check it out:  www.incacountry.com 

The only problem was that they charged (in dollars) for any extra service. For example: breakfast was simply a crust of bread, butter, jelly and one cup of coffee. If you wanted another cup of coffee – US$1. If you wanted an egg – US$1, etc.. Give me a break!

Then we went to Cusco (sometimes spelled Cuzco or historically Quosquo). There we had a super comfortable three star hotel www.cuscopardeohotel.com . Somehow our travel agent in Lima got us a rate of US$50 for a US$75 room. The breakfast was wonderful and plentiful on all fronts. And the room was heated (not common among the cheap seats… the city is chilly - above 3,000 meters in the mountains.)

Then we went to Machu Picchu, staying in Agua Calientes at Inka House www.cuscoplaces.com/inkahouse . Our two star hostal there was nice and friendly . There was a bare-bones breakfast (we had become accustomed to buying our fruit and cheese the day before to eat the next morning). The donna of the hotel was super sweet, but did not provide food or drink beyond the basics.

Returning to Cusco, we went to a basic two star (probably should be rated one star – if there is such a thing) hostal because our three star place was fully booked (no website, but you can email them at hostalcampanario@terra.com). This place sucked. The good thing was that the proprietor was well connected on the tour circuit and hooked us up with some really good local tours. But the room sucked, the breakfast sucked, and the internet connection was incredibly slow. And it was COLD! Breakfast with a scarf.

Then – much to our wondering eyes should appear – when we returned to Lima the previously stiff hostal melted into a very nice place to stay. (Maybe they knew I write a blog…) We still had to bring our own fruit and cheese to breakfast, but they gave us a wonderful room – so much nicer than our initial spot and they even offered us a second cup of coffee or tea at no extra cost.

In all – I would keep your expectations modest. Our experience in Peru was that breakfast is NOT like your experience at Brazilian pousadas. Take care of yourself. Enjoy. The people are indeed wonderful.

It should be noted that we took the expensive tourist trail from Lima to Cusco to Machu Picchu and back. Less expensive routes are possible. But we definitely had to fight against the tourist exploitation tide.

Luiz and I generally “follow our nose” when it comes to international travel. We book the first night and then just take it from there. In this case we found ourselves wanting a bit more advance work to avoid cold and clammy sleeping situations. Let it be a lesson to us. (Maybe we are just getting older…)

Do go visit Peru – it was wonderful! Our daily bed rates were US$40 – US$50 on our limited, cheap route. More is more – but we had a fine time.

 - still trying to get the photo right... sorry...

Call me sour grapes

OK - so it has no relation to the post -- but are they not the cutest things you have ever seen!!?

I love luxury as much as the next guy (OK, maybe less...). But how much austentatiousness do you need to feel comfortable? The gap between the rich and the poor in Brazil is alarming.

I'm sticking with us regular folks.

To make my point - check this out. Who affords THAT house!? Follow the link.

You know you are in Brazil when

You know you are in Brazil when the worker refurbishing the four story building across the street is barefoot. He´s hanging by a rope on a makeshift wooden seat from which he has a bucket of plaster attached which he is using to patch the walls - and has a pried-open 10L can of paint tied by rope to his wooden seat through the lid of the can from which he alternates some painting activity.

I watched him attach his "secure suspension system" by taking out several roof tiles and locating a roof beam onto which he tied his humble rope.

He did not seem confident, at first, about his mechanics. I cold barely watch!

But apparently he is an experienced, fearless, acrobat construction worker. He´s been up there all day and doing fine.

I hope he is getting paid a decent wage... (fat chance)

Some thoughts on the healthcare system in Brazil

I have been repeatedly impressed with the “universal healthcare” system here in Brazil. That being said, coming from the US and our/their “get insurance or get screwed” system, it may not take much to impress me. Things here are not a bed of roses, for sure, but there are some important plusses and minuses.

On the plus side is the language in the Brazilian constitution that says (essentially):

Article 6. Education, health, work, leisure, security, social security, protection of motherhood and childhood, and assistance to the destitute, are social rights, as set forth by this Constitution.

Article 196. Health is a right of all and a duty of the State and shall be guaranteed by means of social and economic policies aimed at reducing the risk of illness and other hazards and at the universal and equal access to actions and services for its promotion, protection and recovery.

In short - healthcare is a citizen's right and it is the duty of the government to provide it.

The healthcare matrix here in Brazil is a complicated mix of public and private providers. Only about 25% of Brazilians have private health insurance, the rest access public clinics and hospitals (which vary wildly in terms of quality and efficiency depending mostly on whether they are in urban or rural areas). More than half of registered nurses and nearly half of doctors are public employees.

The stated principles of the Unified Health System (Sistema Único de Saúde or SUS) are universality, integral care, health promotion, and community participation, with public funds to provide free health care to all Brazilian citizens.

That’s the good news. And for many, many Brazilians it has been very good news. According to this summary article, over the past three decades infant mortality decreased by about 6.3% a year, and life expectancy increased by 10.6 years. Mortality due to infectious disease decreased from 23% of total deaths in 1970 to less than 4% in 2007.

But then there is the bad news. Well, let’s remember that nothing is perfect.

There is a wide gulf in service and efficiency between those with private health insurance, accessing private hospitals, and those going to public facilities. This is certainly not always the case, but in many poorer areas (urban or rural), the conditions at the “hospital” can be alarming.

But I think what I’ve found more disturbing in my reading on this subject is that there is an insidious dynamic at play within the university education system that is broadening the gap between public and private healthcare. No surprise, really, but it’s a bummer to see it studied and articulated.

Capitalism. There it is again, f*cking things up. Early on I saw the irony of the public university system here. It’s free, but only the privileged can access it (with notable exceptions, of course). Competition to get in is fierce and students take expensive preparatory classes to score their best on the entrance exam. No money, no prep course – no high score, no free university. The poor and working class pay to attend private universities.

But that’s not the real problem. The problem seems to be the ethos among the privileged class that financial reward and status are the end goal and working in the public sector is viewed essentially as a lower-paid job with little status. So many educated professionals are self-selecting out of the national healthcare system in favor of the more profitable private system. Many people will tell you that there is a shortage of healthcare providers in the public system.

So we have the ever-corrosive dynamic of private enterprise and personal desire for wealth working against the common good. Nothing too strange about that – but it would be a shame if it erased the benefits gained to date seen with the public healthcare system here in Brazil. I would prefer to see the momentum moving in the other direction.

So tell me – if you can afford it, would you choose to buy private health insurance here in Brazil? Why or why not? While it is cheap by USA standards, it still costs a lot. Is it worth it when you have universal coverage provided by the government? Is it necessary, or just a convenience?

[To view Brazil’s constitution in English, go here. It’s a good read.]

Oh my sweet Detroit - what happened?

There is a word in Portuguese that is often mentioned as one without a real equivalent in English: “saudade.” It essentially means longing, or homesickness, or emotional wishing-for, missing.

Sorry to say, I rarely, rarely have saudade for the United States. Sure, I miss my friends, but the country itself? – not so much. Even when Brazil drives me crazy with its high prices, under-educated populace and corrupt elected officials, I still do not pine for the days of living in the United States.

But at times my heart aches for the folks living in places I used to haunt. In this case I am referring to Detroit. I was born in Detroit. I went to school in Detroit (well, a block or two from the border of the City). My first real girlfriend (yes, I had a girlfriend) lived in Detroit. I loved Detroit.

But nowadays I’m sad for Detroit. It has fallen so far. I have saudade for how things used to be.

When my extended family lived in or near Detroit it was the heyday of the auto industry. The Big Three, we would say (GM, Chrysler, Ford). Almost everybody’s parent worked for the auto industry, or some other job supporting the industry. My grandmother used to joke that if she had a dollar for every slice of pie she served to auto workers in the diner she spent her working life in, she would be a millionaire.

But now things are different. Most of that is gone.

My brother and his wife moved to a cute little historic block in Detroit some time ago, bought an old Victorian house and refurbished it (Dan did a fantastic job!). They were one of the star homes on the neighborhood Christmas walking tour. But they saw the writing on the wall, sold the house, and moved to the country.

Now Detroit lays feral – or mostly so. Good luck my friends in Detroit. I know you are all rooting for success.

For a real taste of Detroit today – go take a look at the Sweet Juniper blog.

Keeping things real in the USA

Even though I maintain a blog in Brazil, I keep an eye (albeit wearied) on the politics in the USA. In that regard, let’s take a look at the lie that is the Republican’s idea that they are economic conservatives and Democrats are the party of spending. (Barf.)

Just a simple graphic reminder.

 The Conservatives/Republicans have a communication machine that feeds ideas into the general public’s mind – but they are lying, based on the facts.
My cardiologist is so happy I live here. If I had to confront this felony of truth and/or stupidity on the TV every day – I would not be as tranquil as I insist on being…

Good luck my US American friends (and I also vote).

You know it is winter in Brazil when

Photo source: http://www.madeinbrazilblog.com/blog/too-hot-for-monday-the-boys-at-frankie-morello/

You know it’s winter in Brazil when:

The women break out their shin-high boots (even if it’s still warm out).

You close your windows for the first time in 10 months.

The electric shower head water heater does not have the oomph to heat the cold water.

All the windows on the bus are closed, and the air conditioner is off.

Scarves are everywhere – everyone is wearing a scarf.

The gringos’ toes are white in their Havaianas.

Ice cream parlors are selling hot chocolate and coffee drinks.

Weekend street festivals (Festa Junina) feature hot corn on the cob and a super delicious piping hot stew over polenta to warm the belly (Angu à Baiana).

Locals will spend an hour in the sun on the beach (for exercise), but gringos will try to pretend it is sunny and warm all day.

Even the most unlikely among us will learn to cook bagels – if only to heat the kitchen.  =;-)

The mosquitoes are oddly absent.

You dig around and find your socks.

Even my surgeon has an angle

Once I decided to get gastric bypass surgery it was necessary to choose a surgeon. Luiz and I asked everyone we know in Niterói for a recommendation. Surprisingly, lots of people knew someone who has had this procedure. We got several suggestions, but one surgeon kept coming up again and again.
Dr. W was recommended by two of our doctors, a couple friends and even one of my students who is a doctor. Sealing the deal was the fact that he is among the doctors participating in my health insurance network.

Our first meeting with Dr. W went well. While waiting for our appointment (they were running 40 minutes late) Luiz took the opportunity to tell my whole story to the women waiting alongside us. But as you know, there are few secrets among patients in a doctor’s waiting room in Brazil. The secretary brought us each a glass of water.

Talking with Dr. W felt a bit like talking with a salesman. He asked a few questions of me, but mostly he spent the time touting his Cracker Jack team and the sure success associated with the procedure. He did reference the need for me to make behavioral changes so as not to balloon out again in two years, but mostly he kept moving things forward.

Turns out Dr. W’s team is mostly off the grid. In addition to my appointments with Dr. W I was to make three appointments (each) with a psychologist, a nutritionist and a physical therapist (all on his team) but they do not accept UNIMED insurance and their fee is R$100/visit. It seems pretty clear to me that, since UNIMED requires a referral from each of these professions stating the appropriateness of the procedure, Dr. W hires these specialists to do just that. He has eliminated the unpredictable.

I began to feel like the place was a “Tummy Mill.” Whatever – I still felt confident with the Dr.’s skill (he has done the procedure more than 130 times). And I, too, didn’t want anything less than a positive referral from the other professionals for the procedure.

If you have had to have a bunch of tests done here in Brazil you know that it is YOU that wanders the neighborhood from lab to lab to get the tests, and it is YOU that collects and files the results in a safe place. In my experience results are not sent directly to the doctor. I had my work cut out for me to complete my numerous tests and to keep a file with the growing pile of documents and films listing the results.

When I finally had all the results in hand, we returned to Dr. W’s office for a consult. During the “consultation” Dr. W went through all the documents and entered the results into my data file in his computer. That was it. I had to say, “Excuse me, but are you going to discuss with me the results of these tests? What does each test tell us about my suitability for the surgery?” In one case I said, “Why are so many of the results printed in red ink?” To which he replied, “That means you have high blood pressure.” I said, “So don’t you think you should tell me that? Don’t you think you might want to refer me to a cardiologist for follow up?” Sigh.

I’ve found that doctors here are often focused on getting you in and out quickly, don’t explain things well unless they are asked and are annoyed with patients that have a brain and ask questions (this goes for our experience at the Cancer Institute as well). It seems very old school – just do what they say and say “thank you doctor.”

So my opinion over time of Dr. W has been less than stellar.

Each time I went for a consultation with any of the professionals in his stable I got a stray piece of paper that filled in one more piece of the overall puzzle. What I wonder is – if every patient is basically going to go through a similar process, why not put together three or four pages, double sided, that lays it all out and give that guide booklet to the patient? No. It was all disjointed and a bit confused.

Trust me, the secretary was never busy. She could easily have printed and collated said booklets.

To the team’s credit they host a 3 hour meeting once a month for patients to go and listen to presentations by the members of the team and to ask questions. But I found the meetings more like a Mary Kay sales pep talk than a careful presentation of the details and procedures associated with the surgery.

In the end I didn’t actually go to all three consults with each of the team members, but I didn’t miss anything. I was not going to part with my money that easily.

Then two days before the surgery the secretary just happened to ask, “Have you called to arrange the anesthesiologist?” What!? Who knew? It was our job to call the anesthesiologist and tell him when we needed him (because, of course, the secretary had no time between chatting with her girlfriends on her cell and standing in the hallway talking with the other secretaries in neighboring offices).

So we called the guy and made arrangements to meet so he could get a sense of what he needed to bring to the surgery. While he was examining me (now the day before the surgery) he said, “You’re pretty big. I think we will want to use an extra instrument to ensure there are no difficulties. There will be an extra charge.” “How much?” we asked. “We can talk about that tomorrow,” he said. WTF?

The Brazilian penal code has a section addressing fraud. The first three numbers of that section are 171. There is a popular expression when something is illegal that it “looks like it’s 171.” That was our take on this last minute extra charge.

The day after the surgery the anesthesiologist came to my room and checked in. Mostly he came to show off the shiny stainless steel instrument he used “just to be safe.” “I bought it in America!” he said with enthusiasm. (I was not impressed.) With his voice lowered so my roommate could not hear, he let us know that his additional fee was R$1,000. We firmly asked for a bill (which he did not have prepared) and said we were first going to submit it to our insurance company for reimbursement. He got all freaked out and told us that the insurance company would not cover it. Winking at each other, Luiz and I just smiled and said we were going to give it a try anyway. We offered our phone number so he could call us when his bill was ready. He said “No, no, you just give me a call.” Yeah, right. We’ll get right on that! Ha! What was up with that?

There were a few other bits of shenanigans we came across in the final days, but I’ll spare you.

In the end my experience was (unfortunately) similar to what I have with so many business people here; so often people have an angle, or a gimmick, or a scam to squeeze a few extra bucks out of you. Money is tough to come by in Brazil, no doubt, but thinking I’m getting scammed by my surgeon and anesthesiologist… that’s a bit much.

[I continue to heal well and lose weight at an incredible pace.]

Where have all the pennies gone?

If you live here I’m sure you have noticed that there are no pennies.

In fact, centavos do exist and they remain legal tender.  But nobody pays with them.

When you buy a bunch of broccoli at the produce store it may cost R$3.67. But when you get to the checkout counter you will pay just R$3.65.

Or if your new shoes cost R$120.98, you will certainly pay R$121.00

No pennies.

To their credit, stores always round in your favor.  But what’s up with the charade of centavos?  Why not price to the nearest R$.05?

It’s all a game, I suppose. "It sounds cheaper..."

Brazil is too advanced for me

Sometimes I feel a little out of the loop. I wonder: Is life passing me by or am I stepping out of the way of a ridiculously speeding train barreling by? Luiz and I moved to Brazil to get out of the rat race that was our daily lives in San Francisco.

Slow down. Notice the sunshine. Kiss each other more. Don’t chase rainbows. Just be. Be together.

It has been more than a month since I have placed a call on my cell phone. Really. In fact, I’ve recently forgotten to check it for missed calls and text messages.  One of my translation clients is not happy with me.

We have an answering machine for our home phone, but for some strange reason Brazilians do not leave messages! And to leave voice mail is a scandal – you pay to leave the message and the recipient pays to listen to the message.  What’s up with that!? Few people even have voice mail service.

I recently downloaded the new, super cute, animated movie “Rio” and enjoyed watching it on my 21” computer screen.  Luiz, on the other hand, wants to watch it on the big plasma screen, with home theater sound.  So I bought the necessary cable, but today I utterly failed to figure out how to connect the computer to the TV.  I need a 14 year old nephew who can come solve my problem.

I used to think I was a pretty modern guy.  But now I fear I have fallen behind. (I KNOW I have fallen behind.) I rarely send a text message. I certainly do not know the short-hand text language abbreviations used in said messages. I don’t Tweet.

Make no mistake – Brazilians are at the front of the line in terms of technology.  EVERYONE has a cell phone (if only a “pai de santo”). As the saying goes: “kids these days” are all about the technology.

I have a client company that specializes in video games technology and I have had to learn a whole new language to translate their press releases. (Actually, two clients.)

Ok – so I am getting old and I don’t care about instant messaging while driving (except that it should be illegal). But I would at least like to be able to hook up our plasma TV to show a movie from my computer.  Is that too much to ask?

That's surprising

Things about the United States that surprise my Brazilian friends:

- Hotels, even fancy ones, do not provide a fabulous, free, fresh breakfast (B&Bs yes, but hotels, no).

- You can get a perfectly good education in public schools.

- The bill collector can seize your home if you get sick and have mounting medical bills.

- Your parents will likely shoo you out of the house once you reach 18 years old.

- There are city law enforcement agents who actually issue traffic/parking violations, really.

- Chinese take-out costs about US$7.00 (and you can find it for less).

- Clothing stores sell XXXL T-shirts or sweatshirts.

- There are no dessert pizzas.

- Classes to learn English as a foreign language are often free.

- If you buy a twelve-pack of Coke it costs less than 12 individual cans.

- There are no vendors on the beach.

- Drivers yield for pedestrians, most of the time.

- Most restaurants close at 10:00 p.m. (except for the 24 hr variety that you generally do not want to eat in anyway).

- Meat cooked on the grill is not covered in salt, rather, a sloppy, spicy sauce.

- Your cell phone service does not cost more than your car payment.

What am I forgetting…

Country comparisons, the macro version

 Comparing things in Brazil to things left behind in our country of origin is a favorite pastime for many expats, at least among the newbies.  I’ve found that these comparisons start out listing all the wonderful new things discovered in Brazil that were either not available in the States (or wherever) or are simply way better here (like varieties of bananas or singing at BBQs).

Over time the comparisons switch to the quality of consumer products, or maybe the lack of certain items here in Brazil.

If we don’t check ourselves, the comparisons can spiral out of control and turn into ugly, whiny, bitch sessions.

One of the first realizations expats need to come to, in my opinion, is: DON’T COMPARE.  It will only make you crazy, and probably not a lot of fun to be around. Just live locally and love it.

However – I’ve found this really cool website that ranks countries in terms of numerous points of comparison, like: population, health, crime, sports, wealth, etc.  So let’s have some fun.

Retail shrinkage (shop lifting) as % of sales, 2010.        Brazil:  1.64        USA: 1.5

Prevalence of adult obesity, 2010.       Brazil: male 8.9%, female 13.1%           USA: male 32.2%, female 35.5%

Greenest countries, most livable places, 2008.   Brazil ranks 40^th          USA ranks 23^rd

Prison population, per 100,000 people.          Brazil: 191         USA: 738

Price of a Big Mac in US$, 2010.          Brazil:  US$5.10          USA: US$3.73

Road traffic deaths, per 100,000 people, 2009.          Brazil: 18.3         USA: 13.9

Circumcised men (%), 2006.    Brazil: 7.4%      USA: >80%

Women in Parliament, 2011.    Brazil: 8.6%      USA: 16.8%

Diabetes prevalence, % of adult population, 2010.      Brazil: 6%       USA: 12.3%

World Cup football championships.  – OK, not fair…

You can find a lot of fun facts to know and tell at this website.

One person’s rain is another’s refreshment

Welcome to the land of rain. We live in a wet environment. People have lived here for hundreds of years. Rain is normal. Rain does not stop everyday life.


I remember a trip I made to French Guiana probably 20 years ago. My aspiring author roommate at the time was doing research for a romantic novel about two gay men from France who fell in love in Paris and then later found themselves, independently, in the prison colony of French Guiana. The book was supposed to have a happy ending. We spent three weeks in French Guiana doing “research.” (Those were the days.)

At any rate, it exposed us to French Guiana, where I first saw construction workers working through a downpour. Heck – if you stopped working every time it started to rain – shit would not get built.

Cayenne, French Guiana, was the first city where I noticed eroded ruts in the sidewalk made by the rain runoff from the roof above.

We get some rain down here in South America. Trust me.

And with all the “Global Weirding” going on – the downpours of late can be record-breaking.

But the fun part is that so many people in my neighborhood do not shy away from just a bit of rain. If it is only raining a little bit, not everyone opens an umbrella. Walking in the rain can be a nice, refreshing antidote to the heat. Clothing is thin, so it dries quickly – what’re a few rain drops on your shoulders? It feels great.

Give me a sprinkle during a hot afternoon. I’ll take it. Don’t fight it. Find the positive. Está bem fresqinho.

Public / private healthcare observation

Today we went to a private hospital followed by a public health clinic.

Zozó wrecked up her big toe on her right foot two nights ago. She was returning from some travel and while dragging her heavy rolling suitcase up the stoop to her apartment, she yanked it over her foot and (since she always wears open-toe shoes) ripped open her toe (and nearly tore off her nail) – OUCH! But it was 2:00 in the morning, so she took one for the team, wrapped her foot and went to bed.

The next morning she called me to come help her clean and dress her wound. It was NASTY! I got her comfortable, and then I went to the pharmacy to get what I needed to attend to her toe and the pain it was giving her.

Then today we thought it best to take her to the ambulatory urgent care center at a nearby private hospital to make sure we were not in over our heads. I waited in the air conditioned waiting room and enjoyed a coffee from the machine in the corner while Luiz and his mother were seen within about 10 minutes. We did not have an appointment.

The doctor took off Zozó’s toenail, cleaned up the torn flesh and wrapped her up. But for some reason they referred us to a public health clinic for Zozó to get a tetanus shot. I have no idea why they did not just give her one there on site.

A quick bus ride later we were dropped off in front of the public clinic. The line in front of us had about 20 people in it. No air conditioning, in fact, the waiting area was outside with cement benches. No coffee machine (or drinking fountain for that matter).

Zozó never lets a line stop her from walking right up to the front to inquire about the best course of action. Being a senior female with a bandaged toe and a story long enough to stall the line for 20 minutes, they decided to escort her to the nurses giving shots (Hep B, rabies, flu shots, baby vaccinations, and tetanus). In spite of the line we were in and out in less than 15 minutes.

Work it girl!

There is definitely a gulf between the realities of private and public healthcare here in Brazil, but if you’ve got a no-nonsense 79 year old Brazileira (whose middle name is jeitinho) on your team, you can often bridge some of the gap.

Pucker faces

My latest ‘torrent’ affair is with the TV series “Being Human,” the US version.  The lead vampire character is played by Sam Witwer.  He’s got this weird look about him that is so distracting.  Something cute, but something strange.  Like a sour puss cutie pea.

Then I placed it.  I think Witner and Renée Zellweger are of the same spawn.

[Talk about off topic…]

Driving each other crazy

Some things are just cultural.  They don’t translate.  For example:

Try putting a slice of avocado on your Brazilian friend’s hamburger.

Or – try putting ketchup on your American friend’s pizza.

Try giving your female Brazilian friend a pair of panties bought at Costco.

Or – try getting your female American friend to wear Brazilian-style women’s panties.

Try getting your Brazilian friend to show up at your party on time.

Or – try getting your American friend to relax while waiting for Brazilian guests to arrive.

Try convincing your male Brazilian friend to not pee on the street (when he feels the need to).

Or – try convincing your male American friend that it is OK to pee wherever he likes (at least your cultured male friend!)

Try feeding roasted vegetables or a cold pasta salad to your Brazilian friends.

Or – try feeding a delicious frango ao moliho pardo to your American friends (when they understand what it is).

Try getting your American friend to sing out loud at a friends’ gathering.

Or – try getting your Brazilian friend to NOT sing out loud at a friends’ gathering.

Try getting your American friend to prioritize family over friends.

Or – try getting your Brazilian friend to prioritize friends over family.

Try getting your American friend to drink sweet avocado juice for breakfast.

Or – try getting your Brazilian friend to eat a sausage, bacon, ham omelet with hash browns and toast for breakfast.

Try to get your Brazilian driver friend to wait for a pedestrian to cross the street.

Or- try to get your friend from Berkeley to even contemplate cutting off a pedestrian.

Can you think of something that drives you and your Brazilian friends crazy?